5 months with out touching
We are doing, some more, some less, five months without touching each other.
During this quarantine, some more, some less, we have been left without hugs, without taverns, without handshakes, without kissing greetings, without pats on the back and without leaning on the arm. Five months without affection shown by the touch, neither of our relatives, nor of curious strangers. Five months without a good party, without a big meeting, without live music and without tracks to dance.
Some more, some less, but they have been five months of a strange feeling, an inevitable distance that is debated between being together, but not being. Being, but not touching.
According to science, any way we touch each other every day speaks volumes about our balance between physical, chemical and emotional health. Touching, though we often dismiss it, activates the frontal cortex of the brain’s orbit, which is linked to the emotions of reward and compassion. Touching is somehow “life-giving.
Many studies from neuroscience have confirmed that physical contact is fundamental in humans and other species. It becomes a primary form of communication, a bond and a physical and emotional stimulus. We also know that touching builds relationships, reciprocity, collaboration, and alliance. It is a different language than the voice, but just as important. It is a sign of affection, of indifference, or even of aggression.
A pat on the back or holding hands, are ways of touching ourselves that become a kind of gesture that, before this pandemic, we took for granted and did not value so much. The hands, full of nerve endings, can send a signal to the brain of safety and confidence, the warm touch can be a trigger for oxytocin, the famous love hormone.
And as if that were not enough, there is plenty of data from studies that have revealed that touch in early life is fundamental in the development of that being. Not only will he increase his weight considerably, he will have a psychological sequel that can accompany him all his life. Touch tells a story of a loving, affective and mutually supportive childhood. Touching us alleviates soul and body; its absence causes the opposite.
Thus, today in the morning I told a friend (by chat) that I missed very much all that it means to touch us in general, to feel close, to share space and time, in all senses, to touch us. From a party, a celebration, a half hug, a farewell, an arm pull, a slap, a handshake or being at a muddy concert. She listened my arguments although she didn’t share them completely. At the end she only answered: “it’s not so bad, Alonso, you like to touch a lot”.
Sources:
Hands On Research: The Science of Touch, by Dacher Keltner
